7 Tips for a Better Divorce
7 Tips for a Better Divorce
With Mississippi ranking in the top 15 states per capita for divorces, there are many folks who could use some sage advice on dealing with divorce. Dick Price wrote a nice piece about Tips for a Better Divorce on his blog, Divorce and Family Law in Tarrant County, Texas. Applying these concepts may save you a lot of heartache and ease the pain in a very emotional process.
1. Be prepared. If you are know you will be getting a divorce, spend time gathering information such as financial documents, titles, tax returns, and other information which proves what your assets are and their value. Once you start this process, you might even find assets which you did not know about.
2. Plan for changes and be flexible. You are in the process of splitting up a family and becoming two separate units. This means two house payments, two sets of utility bills, two car payments (even more if you have driving age children), and many other expenses which will tax your financial resources. You may have to modify your future goals given the change in your financial future. Accept it, understand the need to compromise, and realize both spouses will have to modify their lifestyle.
3. Be honest with your attorney. Your attorney can not do their job if they do not have all the facts. Discussions with your attorney are privileged communications, so tell them everything. It is much easier to deal with bad facts you aware of rather than to hear them for the first time in a deposition or court.
4. Prepare to use specialists. Attorneys are very good at assisting you in the application of law, facts, and procedure in the divorce process. However, many are not specialists in tax issues, financial planning, and/or mental health. So if you need more specialized attention, be prepared to get it. Your attorney should be able to recommend whether you need a specialist and the names of specialists who can assist you.
5. Don’t lose sight of the big picture. Put another way; make sure you can see the forest from the trees. You should not get bogged down in insignificant issues or keeping a scorecard against your spouse to see who is winning or losing. Focus on the major issues which are important to you. If you do, it will cause your spouse to do the same. You will be much happier if your major goals are achieved as opposed to spending needless hours fighting over an insignificant piece of furniture.
6. Practice putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes. Given the overwhelming majority of divorces settle, negotiations are a major part of any divorce. Understanding the other side’s position is crucial in successful negotiations. If you have a better understanding of what is important to your spouse, you will better understand his/her motivations and be more successful in negotiating a mutually agreeable settlement.
7. Reduce conflict. The more you battle, the more it costs. Choose your battles carefully or better yet, work towards solutions as opposed to conflict. It will save your sanity and pocketbook.
Applying these concepts should result in less conflict, more attention to the real issues, and the ability to move towards a successful resolution of your divorce.
